30 June 2008
Scientific Discovery
Posted by Joy Bischoff under: Humor .
Discovery of a new chemical element
Recent hurricanes and gasoline prices are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal halflife of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Sharon Anderson sent this along.
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6 Comments so far...
Angela Rogin Says:
30 June 2008 at 10:06 am.
LOL, that’s hilarious.
Mac Says:
30 June 2008 at 10:12 am.
MORONS…way to funny!
Chemical Engineering » Blog Archive » Scientific Discovery Says:
30 June 2008 at 10:28 am.
[...] Real Estate News, Mortgage, Housing, Homes For Sale – Relistr.com wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptScientific Discovery Posted by Joy Bischoff under: Humor. Discovery of a new chemical element Recent hurricanes and gasoline prices are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called moron [...]
T. Fan Says:
30 June 2008 at 11:33 am.
“critical morass” is my favorite part. This is great.
Bryon Says:
30 June 2008 at 2:24 pm.
Wow that is funny.
Cavetrollhead Says:
30 June 2008 at 6:17 pm.
This is great. I saw this circulating in an email a few years ago and lost it. Thanks for bringing it back. It is so À Propos.
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