24 June 2008
Obama thanks his many supporters
Posted by Bryon under: Humor; Presidential Election 2008 .
My fellow Americans:
As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor’s relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.
I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush’s youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.
I would also like to thank the Kennedy’s for coming out in support of me. There’s a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King, Jr. and Teddy killed a female employee with whom he was having an extra marital affair and who was pregnant with his child. And I’m not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively. And I’d like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.
Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt. I say things that sound meaningful, but don’t really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think about them. Americans are tired of thinking. It’s time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart. So when you go to vote in the primaries, remember don’t think, just do. And do it for me.
Thank You.
Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.
11 Comments so far...
Bryon Says:
24 June 2008 at 4:19 pm.
Thank you Sharon for sending this.
M.G. Says:
24 June 2008 at 4:25 pm.
That is hilarious.
Carrie Says:
24 June 2008 at 4:31 pm.
eeeeeewww, get it off! I don’t trust his smile. He wants to make us all slaves.
Terrie Soberg Says:
24 June 2008 at 9:42 pm.
Hey Bryon, it’s nice to see you posting!
Bryon Says:
24 June 2008 at 9:55 pm.
Thanks. I like helping with this awesome blog!
kjgosnell Says:
24 June 2008 at 10:03 pm.
This is a man you just can’t trust. He says one thing but does another. He doesn’t follow through with the things he does say he will. I for one am certainly happy Hillary didn’t make it, but Obama really isn’t a better choice.
Tony Says:
24 June 2008 at 10:15 pm.
oh man that is soo funny! thanks bryon.
Terrie Soberg Says:
24 June 2008 at 10:49 pm.
Kj, welcome to our blog–you’ll meet some pretty cool people around here!
Mac Says:
25 June 2008 at 8:35 am.
This is one of my favorite blogs.
Bryon Says:
25 June 2008 at 9:07 am.
I don’t like him either Kjgosnell. Feel free to keep commenting.
Nalvy Says:
26 June 2008 at 9:04 pm.
Well I love the part about white people only voting for him to get rid of their percieved racism.. it is completely true of many people. Call me a racist but I am only going to vote for someone who i think will TRULY make a difference.
This whole thing totally made my day though…I laughed the whole time.
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